Breakups are hard, but especially for the LGBTQ community. In fact, same-sex couples have shorter relationship lengths than different-sex couples due to various stressors like micro-aggressions, discrimination, harassment, and disapproval from friends and family. As gay people typically spend their younger years closeted while watching their hetro/cis peers freely experience relationships, it’s not surprising that they want to hold onto love once they find it — which makes breakups hit even harder. Finding healthy ways to deal with your feelings and emotions is crucial for healing.
Don’t bottle-up your feelings
Crying is healthy and therapeutic, so if you have the urge to cry, don’t hold back. Let it all out. Crying helps release toxins and stress from the body. It’s also healthy to talk about your feelings. After a break up, it’s natural for your mind to work overtime, going over and trying to process all the small details — but this often leaves you ending up feeling even more confused. Confide in trusted friends or family. Tell them everything that’s in your head, and have them simply be there to listen. Vocalising all your thoughts and feelings will help you to see the situation much more clearly. Once you understand your own thoughts and feelings, they’ll suddenly become a whole lot easier to process and accept.
Find a new (or old) hobby
You’ll naturally find yourself with more free time following a break up. Instead of wallowing in your feelings or contemplating getting back with your ex, think about new, positive ways to fill your time. Try out a new hobby, or take up one you used to enjoy doing. For example, you could join a local sports club, reading group, or art class. Not only will you have a fulfilling way of spending your time; you never know what doors may open up as a result.
Be careful with rebounds
Falling right into a rebound relationship after a breakup is common, but it’s certainly not something that works for everybody. If you do need a rebound to help get over your ex, have some fun, or feel less lonely, by all means, go for it — just be careful not to invest too much of yourself in it. Pay attention to any unhealthy warning signs that indicate that you need to call it off. However, while many rebound relationships end up being brief, superficial and toxic, that’s not always the case. While it’s easy to start overthinking the different stages of your rebound relationship, ultimately, it can be healthier to simply go with the flow. If you find yourself enjoying your relationship with your rebound, keep exploring it and see where it goes.
The end of a romantic relationship is always difficult. However, finding ways to cope with and work through the pain will help you heal. Although you’ll find there’s plenty of advice out there, you’ll ultimately have to find what works best for you.
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